#otome wrap up

[otomegamesandme]

Top Otomes of 2023

It's that time again! Normally this list is just whatever I played in the year and not new releases, but uh, for once I pretty much only played new releases lol. I'm gonna be honest, I hardly remember what I played because it's been a Year for me. But looking back, these are what stood out!

Norn9 Last Era

Look, I felt the need to add Norn9 on here in some capacity because it was one of the first big otome titles I played way back in 2015. I've been wanting the fandisc ever since, and getting it felt like a dream come true. If you played Norn9 recently you might enjoy this less, but since it's been a hot minute since I last replayed the original I didn't mind the rehashing of the story through the boys' perspectives and I enjoyed seeing their lives after the events of everything! This also helped with my biggest issue of the OG game; world building. Things were filled out and plot holes fixed and overall, it was nice to be with the cast again!

Titan Arum

I'm not sure I would have found this game if I hadn't joined the Velox Fabula game jam, but I really enjoyed this! Ironically, I also read one of the main inspirations for this game (The King in Yellow) this year as well, so seeing it being referenced was really cool. If you've been here a while, you know horror otomes are some of my favorites and I'm glad to have another one to add to the list of otomes I love!

Intertwine

This was just a feel good game that had my whole heart. Van was a lovely character through all life times, and considering I played it during the Worst Part of the Year for me, it really helped get my mind off things! I also will never shut up about the GUI in this game, it's so beautifully designed and some of the best I've seen in a VN!

Jack Jeanne

Is anyone surprised by my number one lol I was yelling about it for the entire month of July, and it was my most played Switch game of 2023 as well! The characters were fully realized and didn't just feel like the usual archetypes, the art was beautiful, the stories were wonderful (including the stories of the plays), and the music slapped. This game was truly the It Game of the genre this year and for good reason! Kisa is also one of my new favorite protags, she was fantastic. I'm really glad we were able to get an English release for this!

[kurishiri]

01 ┊ The final promise, a mother's death

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ this translation may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

— jude⌛'s past records, record #1.

— cw: domestic child abuse (physical), death of a family member, mentions of alcoholism and family neglect.

The amount of happiness a person is given in their lifetime is decided, and it is split equally for everyone.

Such was written in a book somewhere.

Just as there was no abundance of good things, neither was there an abundance of bad. Everything was made to be equal.

——If that was the case, then just what did this bloody wretched life of mine ever amount to?

Since I was born, I had never gotten a taste of that feeling called ‘happiness.’

My father was an immigrant from Ireland, who worked at the seaport.

The place was filled with violent people, making both public order and the working environment in poor condition, but not working would be the same as death.

And what was tragic about the job was the fact that you could be laid off at any point.

Jude’s father: Blast it all! I went outta my way to show up n’ they went and kicked me out!

Jude’s older brother: Was a fool’s errand from the start!

In the cramped house, the scent of liquor and tobacco pervaded the room,

and perhaps because of continuous exposure to that, my younger sister and I had weak lungs, and were often prone to asthma attacks.

Jude’s younger sister: *cough* *cough*...

Jude: Quit it already.

Jude’s father: ...Hah?

Jude: If ya continue smokin’ that stuff, ain’t no way we’re gettin’ any better.

J: If you’re gonna smoke go n’ do it outsi——gh!

All of a sudden, he hit my cheeks, and the moment I collapsed on the floor, he grabbed my hair.

Jude’s father: I dare ya to try sayin’ that again.

Jude: Hah, did ya drink so much booze your ears gone bad? I’ll say it however much I gotta.

J: I’m sayin’ ya don’t even got a penny in your pocket and yet ya go off smokin’ that stuff——guah!

This time, he hit my other cheek without holding back.

Jude’s father: Jude. How old are ya?

Jude: ...Five.

Jude’s father: Which is the age ya can go n’ work a job. And yet here ya are not doin’ that ‘cause you’re coughin’ a lung up.

Jude’s father: Who do ya think ya are, complainin’ when you’re a useless piece o’ trash, huh!?

Grasping at my hair, he tried to drag me around, when——

Jude’s mother: Stop this at once...!

Jude: Mum...

Jude’s mother: I’ll give him a talk and make him listen. Okay?

Mother took some money, and the two left the house for a drink.

(That cash... went and sold off clothes again, innit.)

She was a woman who could use perfect Queen’s English, and she was originally a well-to-do lady, or so I heard.

But, she pulled the short end of the stick, getting together with a good-for-nothing.

She sold the little jewels and clothes she had brought until she had nothing left to her name, and her health deteriorated.

—— Time skip (I think) ——

Jude’s mother: Jude, come here a bit.

Mother took me out to the garden, and there she took a stick and started writing something on the ground.

Jude: Mum, what’s this?

Jude’s mother: These are letters. They represent the words we speak... let’s see... it’s much like a ‘sign,’ so to speak.

Jude’s mother: See, this is how you write your name. J, U, D, E.

I copied Mother’s letters, writing them on the ground.

Jude: Wow, I could really get behind this. Hey, how do ya write Jazza——

Just then, Mother pulled me into an embrace.

Jude: Mum...?

Jude’s mother: In the times to come, even when your body is weak, and your money scarce, as long as you have wisdom, you can live on with that.

Jude’s mother: Jude, you are intelligent. I am sure knowledge will be your guardian.

Jude: Hey, mum, if ya hug me so tight it’s gonna hurt.

Jude’s mother: Hehe, you’re a big brother, aren’t you? You can handle this much at least.

Not too long after, Mother’s body grew weak, and she passed away.

The only thing left behind was the cold bed which she no longer occupied.

(She probably knew things would turn out this way.)

Running my hand along the cold surface of the bed, I recalled the final conversation we shared.

—— Flashback ——

Jude’s mother: Jude... I’m sorry.

Jude: What’re ya apologizin’ for? There’s a mountain of people other than ya who gotta apologize.

Father and my older brother drowned in alcohol, and even on death’s door, they didn’t bother even showing their faces.

Jude’s mother: ...I’m sorry, I’m sorry...

Jude: ...N’ like I said, don’t apologize.

Jude’s mother: ...Please...take care of your sister...Jude.

—— End flashback ——

That became the final conversation.

And, after that, my life stumbled even more down to the pits of hell.

to be continued…

first next →

masterlist🌙 ┊ ko-fi ☕️ ┊ comms 🤍

[atelier-rougelian]

kfhskfjflsm

[gifti3]

Tumblr and reddits overall views on mean/rude characters are so different....

[lale-txt]

❥ 𝐂𝐀𝐍'𝐓 𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏? ↳ 𝐰/ 𝐎𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮, 𝐊𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨, 𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐦𝐚, 𝐈𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐳𝐮𝐦𝐢, 𝐒𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐬𝐚, 𝐀𝐤𝐚𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢, 𝐔𝐤𝐚𝐢 & 𝐁𝐨𝐤𝐮𝐭𝐨

☆ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 & 𝐜𝐰: i would like to thank my insomnia for being useful for once. reader is gn! food mention in the Osamu & Ukai drabbles. the Iwaizumi one is a little bittersweet, otherwise mostly fluff.

☆ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 :1.5k

𝐎𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐔 is pretty sure he’s seeing an angel. Illuminated only by the light above the kitchen stove, your silhouette looks suspiciously like it’s wrapped in a full body halo. He doesn’t ask, just shuffles over and wraps his arms around you from behind, his face pressed into your neck and inhaling the scent of what is home to him. Only when you hold out a spoonful of leftover curry over your shoulder does he look up and let you feed him, followed by a low pleased rumble against your back. You tried to be quiet during your 3AM munchies, you really did, but if there’s one thing that wakes Osamu then it’s the sound of a pot lid being lifted and the scraping of a spoon against a ceramic bowl. He doesn’t mind though; he’d rather be up with you than reach for you in his sleep and find your side of the bed empty. The way to the heart is through the stomach or whatever that saying is–he can’t remember, but he knows for sure that he fell in love with you bite for bite, devouring you till his heart was full of you. 

𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐎 is a light sleeper, always has been since he was a kid. If he doesn’t drown out every single sound and every glimpse of light with two pillows smushed against the sides of his face, it’s just not happening. That is until he met you. The first time you slept next to him, curled up against his back, Kuroo found himself confused how easily his body settled in next to yours. His weary head falling against your shoulder, your fingers threading through his messy hair, touching spots no one ever has–before he knew, he was melting into you, one arm snuck around your middle to keep you from moving away from him. Ever. It’s almost ridiculous how he has to fight to stay awake, not wanting the pillow talk to end just yet. Not because you bore him, hell no, it’s just that your presence is more soothing than anything else in this world to him. Your soft voice in his ear carries him into his dreams, allowing him to sleep soundly now that he knows he’ll never have to miss you in his life again. 

𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐌𝐀 sees the small green dot next to your name at 3AM and knows you’re probably messaging your fictional husbands in that otome game of yours again. He doesn’t mind. If anything, it gives him an excuse to text you and not worry about waking you up from the sound of your phone going off. You’re so quick to reply to him, too, scolding him that he’s not allowed to pull an all-nighter again, as if you were any better. He laughs quietly to himself when he puts on his headset (the one with kitty ears you got him for his birthday) and starts the voice chat. You sound sleepy, and he knows you’re probably gonna pass out on him in the next couple of minutes, but he’d rather hear your sleepy babbling than not hear your voice at all. You’ll tell him all about your dreams tomorrow, when he lays down for a nap with his head in your lap and you tease him by tracing the dark circles under his eyes, only to run your fingers soothingly through his pudding hair until he falls asleep with a small smile on his lips.

𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐒𝐀 hates those overnight bus rides. It’s too crowded, everyone around him is snoring, it smells like a locker room after a match and he can’t bring his satin pillow with him because the risk of someone else snatching it would be too high. At least there’s you. It’s always you. Only you. He wordlessly slips into the seat next to you, knowing you never find sleep during those long hours on the road either, no matter how tired you are. The two of you have a routine down by now; first he shrugs off his jacket and wraps it around your shoulders, then you take out one of your earbuds and hold it out for him before shuffling through your playlist and showing him whatever song is currently stuck on your mind. It never takes long till your head sinks against his shoulder, your hand sliding into his, fitting so neatly like a puzzle piece. His thumb brushes over your knuckles when he kisses the top of your head softly. He can’t wait to be home again to fully indulge in you, but for now this will do. 

𝐈𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐙𝐔𝐌𝐈 thinks it’s a bad idea. But when you knocked on his door, your pillow clutched to your chest and asking if you could sleep in his bed tonight, his rigidity crumbled in a heartbeat. He couldn’t possibly send you back to your room across the hallway, not when he saw your puffy eyes and the small wobble of your bottom lip. Now you’re lying in bed next to him, the blanket pulled up to the tip of your nose, and he can tell that you still feel like crying but you’re also relieved over not having to be alone anymore. So is he. More than you’ll ever know. Yeah, it’s a bad idea, but when he holds out an arm for you to crawl into and you inch closer to him, your hand coming to rest sprawled out across his ribcage, Iwaizumi promises himself to protect your heart, even if it meant breaking his own in return. His whole world shrinks down to just you and him, and for as long as he can keep his arms wrapped around you, your head tucked under his chin, maybe for as long he can keep on dreaming. 

𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈 is surprised to find you still up. Work has dragged on forever today, the crushing deadline looming over him, and then there was this after-work dinner and karaoke bar with his colleagues he couldn’t decline again, and the commute home took him forever, and… his trail of thoughts is interrupted when your gentle hand wraps around his wrists and pulls him down to sit on the edge of the mattress with you. He doesn’t even have it in him to protest anymore, all of his tension melting away under your soft caress. You take his glasses off and put them down on the bedside table for him before wrapping your arms around him from behind, small kisses pressed to the side of his neck. He tells you all the time that you shouldn’t wait for him, that it’s getting late. But if you’d ask him in secret he’d admit that coming home to you was his favorite thing in the entire world, that the dim glow of your nightstand lamp was like a lighthouse, guiding him back into your arms, right where he belonged.

𝐔𝐊𝐀𝐈 stubs out his cigarette before reaching for the thick blanket he draped around your shoulders, making sure it hugs you nicely. You’re slumped over the table in the back room of the Sakanoshita store, your arms folded underneath your head, snoring quietly without a single worry in the world. The time you spent too giddy to fall asleep last night–all because of the first snow of the year–is now catching up on you, it seems. He told you several times that you could sleep in, that you don’t have to get up during this ungodly hour with him to open up the store, but you insisted and who was he to refuse you anything? Somehow the morning rush of high schoolers and grannies was much more bearable, knowing you were snoozing only a few meters away from him. Your position couldn’t possibly be comfortable, and he takes a mental note to spoil you later tonight–get your favorite takeout, draw you a bath, rewatch your favorite movie while snuggled up on the couch. Loving you left a mark on him like your footsteps in the snow, when it was quiet in the night and just you dancing with your arms held high. 

𝐁𝐎𝐊𝐔𝐓𝐎 is restless. Technically he should be powered out by now, having won a big game earlier today and spending hours entertaining reporters, fans and the rest of his team. But it’s the first night you two get to spend together after weeks apart and there’s no way he can fall asleep just now, knowing he could use that time kissing and cuddling you instead. Fortunately, you feel the same. Your legs are tangled up under the covers, and you don’t get to finish a single sentence without him stealing a kiss from your lips. Bokuto looks at you like you’re the sun, the moon and all his stars, a whole universe just for him. He tries to focus on what you’re saying, he really does, but you gotta understand that it’s hard when he just can’t get enough of the sweet little sounds you make when your lips part for him or the way your body melts into him the moment his arms come around you. You’re his, and he missed you more than anything. And if sleep really dares to come over you both, he’ll find you in your dreams again, not letting you out of sight now that he has you again. 

support your writers! if you enjoyed these drabbles, maybe say something nice in the comments, tags or asks? ♡

[hitoshitoshi]

Rafayel Loves Musty Pussies! [ Rafayel x Fem!Reader 18+]

Summary: We all know that Rafayel, our beloved lemurian has a scent kinkーbut to what extent? The answer is yes. Rafayel's scent kink extends beyond perfume. CW: Degenerate and desperate Rafayel, cunnilingus, scent kink, begging, patheticness, and whimpering.

Rafayel loves shoving his face into musty pussies. He regularily spreads your legs and lays between them, taking large inhales between your legs.

Rafayel purposefully tells you to not shower for 2 days or more because he loves it when you smell 2000 x more pungent. He doesn't want to smell and taste clean skin and a hint of soap. No, he wants to smell you and taste only you.

The mustier you are, the more Rafayel whimpers in pleasure, because to him, it's your pheromones that drive him insane. He just wantsーno, he needs you so badly, and this right hereーyouーare his for the taking.

Rafayel would spread your pussy lips wide open and make sure every crevice is traced with his tongue, with the occasional:

"Mmfh... bodyguard, you taste so good."

"Such a good girl for me."

"Thats right, bodyguard, relax... just a bit more."

"I need you to sit on my face, please... I need you so badly."

And you do just that. You hover on Rafayel's face, to much of his displeasureーhe grunted as he grasped onto your thighs, yanking you down. He didn't want a pathetic hover. Rafayel wanted you to suffocate him. He needed his oxygen blocked and his mouth and nose absolutely smothered with your juicesーyour scent.

This was paradise for Rafayel. God, oh god, he loved how your thighs hugged him on each side of your face. Rafayel's face was buried between your legs, his tongue darted in and outof your pussy as he begged for more. He was desperate, needy, and couldn't get enough of your taste.

Rafayel let out a needy moan, "F-fuck... body guard," his voice was muffled as he clenched his eyes, slurping up your essence, "I need more. I need you to come all over my face". He was a mess an absolute mess. A whore for you.

"Mmfh...," Rafayel's hips bucked forward into nothing, getting hard just by being under you. His cock was leaking with pre-cum as Rafayel loved everything. The taste. The saltiness. The bitterness. The smell. He loved it. He loved it all.

Rafayel's arms wrapped tightly around your thighs, forcing you to stay in place as he lapped at your pussy like a starving dog. He held you still when you squirmed on top of him. As much as he wanted to use him as though he were your toy, he wanted to make you cum all by yourself. He wanted to you to cum from just his tongue. Rafayel loved the way you trembled on top of him. It was just more motivation because he wanted you to feel just what you make him feel.

But as time went by, the strain on Rafayel's cock was getting overwhelming, 'I need it, bodyguard, I need it so bad," He whined, his voice cracking with desperation. Rafayel looked up, meeting your gaze, and he knew he was pathetic. His eyes were teary as the bottom half of his face was soaked in your juices. His cock was flushed red and cum was dripping down from it. Rafayel needed you to touch him. He needed you to want him. To need him. To need his face, his cock, his everything. He needed your soul to need him.

"Please, please, plese," Rafayel begged, his voice was barely a whisper. "Make me cum, bodyguard... Make me come with you."

A/N: Testing the waters rn because I have a really really degenerate raf draft that's begging to be written.

If you like otome games, including Love and Deepspace, you should join Linkon Lounge! A discord server that's LGBTQ+ friendly (only serving those who are 18+) where we all can share our interests, talk to roleplaying bots (Caleb, Rafayel, Zayne, Xavier, and Sylus), and have fun game, movie, and stream nights where we stream games and/or cards that we pulled that others want to see. It would be super fun to have you as a member of our server. Click here to Join Linkon Lounge!

MASTERLIST

[jellomortality]

And the real kicker here? If Klarion had brought this up to Danny beforehand, there wouldn't be an issue. Like, Danny would have vetoed the creepy romance game, but if Klarion had mentioned wanting to play a prank on this group of teen vigilantes by bringing them into a videogame and acting as the DM, Danny might have even helped. You wanna invite some new players to Family Science Night? Sure, it'll be fun! We can get out Mario Party and Klarion can be Bowser! Hilarious!

But no. You locked people up in a horror game without their consent and without a way to evacuate in case things went wrong. WHICH THEY DID.

Danny is very disappointed in you, Klarion.

Okay, But, >.> Listen...

So MAYBE, just MAYBE, I am an incureable RoFan Isekai nerd. Shut up about it, maybe. What're you a cop? Mind your business. BUT! And hear me out...

W...What would actually? HAPPEN if Danny went into a Visual Novel? Some Otome game? You know, aside from being vague flustered by and then DEEPLY ALARMED by these walking Red Flag Fruitloops that girls are supposed to find "dreamy" or something?

Like we know how MMOs work for him. And probably OTHER open world games? But a visual novel? Would it be like the Christmas Episode? Would he hear narration? Be stuck in static "scenes"? Or would it be like a cut together "only the interesting parts" movie that he's somehow IN?

Like?? At SOME point his curiosity is gonna get the best of him. He's gonna want to know what different video games are LIKE on the inside? What's Pong like? Tetris? Mario? One of those Mama's cooking games? Etc etc.

He probably hits up a game sale. Buys a box or two. Figures he can always resell um or just give them away for free. Might even use them for parts. Who knows. And?

It's kinda cool!

It's even SCIENCE! See? Tucker's in charge of notes. Sam's in charge of hilarious commentary and pizza. Jazz is keeping them from drinking and doing ghost shit (terrible combination, we never speak of What Happened(tm) again). And the Dr's. Fenton got distracted by making fudge and debating what games should be counted towards which categories.

They've made an afternoon of it.

And NOW? They've reached the bottom of box one. It was "Survive The Villainess! My Rose for You!" Or... judging by Sam's climbing eyebrows and growing scowl? A DEEPLY unpleasant porn game about school girls.

You could not PAY him enough.

Yeah, he DOES realistically kinda want to know what happens.. if.. like? You know... sexy games... like would he? Or does he just WATCH or...? *awkward cough* But! That's NOT for Family Science Night! And DEFINITELY not THAT game, THANKS.

He'll find himself an ETHICALLY SOURCED smutty game full of consensual boning. For PRIVATE TIME. Those test results are gonna show up like MAGIC and we WILL NOT be talking about them! Got it? Good.

Now what the fuck is he look at here?

Jazz is surprisingly knowledgeable. They are not allowed to ask. They respect it. The main character "wakes up" inside the body of a "villainess" and must survive. Turn her terrible reputation around. Avoid "death flags". Preferably romance one of the hot guys?

Uuuuuuuh... you realize Danny's in a committed relationship, right?

Sam and Turker allow it. But they reserve the right to blast his taste in Fantasy Guy's. Chose carefully, for their roasting shall be BRUTAL. Luuuuuv yoooou~♡

He wants a divorce. They're not even MARRIED and he wants a divorce. You see how they mock him, Jazz? The cruelty he suffers? He's taking the Blobs and moving to Frightknight's. They always warned him about you living folks and your fast ways, but he didn't listen! *continued dramatics* *is smacked with a pillow*

But actually going IN? The weirdly, vaguely European over the top EVERYTHING? Giant jewels and ridiculous, fancy dresses? The walking red flag Romantic Archtype Leads? He wants to PUNCH half these guys! This is ABUSE! Are people OKAY!?

Like? I feel like he'd stay way, WAY longer then he needed too? Just out of morbid curiosity? W-where is this plot GOING? It's so dramatic. Why is my dress MORE dramatic now? Why is everything so... Sparkly.

It would be? AMAZING and baffling and I would pay real money to hear their live commentary. "Why not simply judo flip the crown prince off the balcony, then take over the country, sweetie?" "Solid plan, honey! He deserves it!" Beautiful. Flawless. Sage advice really. Too bad Danny can barely walk in his five million bows dress.

It's the BEST Au and I might be a genius. Or deeply sleep deprived. Meh. We'll 50/50 it, six of one, half a dozen of another.

@hdgnj @ailithnight @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter

[hannie-dul-set]

heartbeat conquest — day 1.

SYNOPSIS. you’re sucked into a reverse harem otome game, and there’s only one goal— say the right things to conquer as many pretty boys as you can. PAIRINGS. tomorrow x together x reader. TAGS. social media! au, modern fantasy, reverse harem (of fucking course), romance, humor, a whole bunch of weird dynamics maybe HUAHAHAHAHAHHAAH. inspired by the manhwa with the same title, “heartbeat conquest.”

it has been thirty minutes since you started staring at your phone.

the walls that surround you have transformed from a pink to a light beige. the bubblegum floors have turned into carpet. and the bed you’ve sunk yourself into feels just as foreign as it is yours. what is this? what is going on? you have a rough idea on just what you’ve gotten yourself into, but it’s still difficult to wrap your head around.

sanctuary. angel. knight. savior. lover. considering the premise, these must be the love interests you have to conquer. yet you have yet to open any of their messages because the “system” didn’t even bother to provide you with any context on who these strangers are! even otome games give a brief profile of your targets. how are you supposed to know which of these nameless and faceless bastards is your type?

“ugh,” you grunt, jumping off of bed and feeling the plush carpet against your skin— a warm and sickly feeling. the window shows the midnight moon shining above what appears to be a college campus, buildings lining up before and after this one, a wide field directly below you and connected pavements from one concrete wall to another. your guess that this is a dormitory is proven to be correct. but you don’t understand how everything seems to have the same bubblegum pink filter clouding over your vision.

ding!

you pause for a moment.

the system has made it very clear. you know what you’re supposed to be doing.

first impressions: what the fuck, all these love interests are in some what or another— off. weird. is this some screwed up otome game? do you have to deal with a bunch of creeps to get yourself out of this? now, that’s not your only problem. five out of five of these guys want to meet with you, and all on the same date nonetheless.

from what you have gathered, you have to win all of them over. but you’re left with no choice but to pick one of them this time.

now— who would you like to meet first?

NOTE. oooh choices HAHHAHAHA. now let me just give you guys a hint: some of these boys are gonna benefit if you don’t pick them. i wanted to give my spin on the usual reverse harem tropes, and fuck with them a little BWAHAHAHAHHA. the reason why angel and knight haven’t been unlocked yet is well........you guys failed to get a big enough reaction for them (whether it be negative or positive).

as usual, please answer the form linked above to progress. i will close them once i feel like i’ve gotten enough responses!

DAY 0 | DAY 1 | DAY 2

heartbeat conquest. © hannie-dul-set, 2024.

[otomegamesandme]

Top 3 Otomes Played in 2022

Hey hey, it's that time again! 2022 wasn't a gaming year in any sense of the word, and I didn't play/finish that many otomes. That's why unlike last year, this is just going to be 3 titles instead of 5! With an included bonus of demos for indie titles I played that I'm looking forward to in the future!

3. ITYH

This was one of the first ones I played this year and it was a wild ride. Horror is one of my favorite genres, so whenever I see a new horror otome I always pick them up. Both of the main characters being unlikable was fun, and each ending brought something new to the overall story. I usually tend not to care much for yandere/monstrous love interests, but this one just worked for me. If you're ok with kidnapping, murder, cannibalism, and really toxic relationships, I recommend.

2. Variable Barricade

And on the complete opposite spectrum, we have Variable Barricade. I feel like a lot of the big otome releases this year just weren't hitting for me, but this one was a lot of fun. I have my grievances with Ichiya's route (specifically how male SA/rape was handled, plus it felt like it came out of no where amidst the general comedic tone of the game), but all the other routes were so much fun. Nayuta and Shion are some of my favorite love interests, I love them so much. I also love the main character, she was so funny and seeing her have to deal with a group of idiots was exactly what I needed during the midst of college graduation earlier this year.

1. Heart Fragment

The otome of all otomes honestly. This isn't just a favorite of the year, this has the potential to be my favorite otome of all time depending on how Book 3 and the Finale go. I'm not sure how to describe the plot of this? Xani Green realizes they have strange mutant abilities and this leads them to wanting to learn about herself and her dead mother's past. It's a unique blend of genres, but the main focus is really on the main character's struggles, and wow I have not related to a main character more in my life. Xani is prickly and closed off and they have every reason to be due to everything they've been through. A lot of their growth is learning how to let others in and how to trust people and that there are people worth trusting. All the routes were also fantastic. Clive, Kay, and Shannon mean everything to me actually, and I related to their struggles so much. Big sis Lana was also an A+ character. My favorite part about this though is that it feels almost like a puzzle. The more endings you get and routes you play the more you piece together about the overall plot. I could rant about this game forever, but I'm going to stop here. This game might not be for everyone, but I do implore everyone to give it a chance. The first book is free, and I think if it clicks with you, it really will click.

Demos played/Full Releases I'm looking forward to

Obscura: The Dark Descent by Rotten Racoons

Our Life 2 by GB Patch

Diffraction by Mellowdrawmatic

[strwberri-milk]

Masterlist - Rafayel

Wrapped in Moonlight || Rafayel x Fem!Reader || SMUT || AO3

Crashed on Shore || Rafayel x Reader || Nightmare Comfort || AO3

Streaks of Vermillion || Rafayel x Reader || Hurt/Comf || AO3

Midnight Blues || Rafayel x Reader || Insomnia Comf || AO3

April Showers || Rafayel x Reader || Fluff, Cuddling || AO3

Halfway There - Mini Event Masterlist

Drawing Mehndi On You - Rafayel - Requested

Dating a Celebrity - Fluff, Requested

Abysswalker Ball Crashing - Fluff, Requested

Naming a Puppy After Him - Fluff, Requested

Confessing to You - Fluff, Requested

Finding MC and Leaving You - Angst, Requested

Dense Reader - Fluff, Requested

Turning into an Evol Kitten - Fluff, Requested

Backhugging Him - Fluff, Requested

Incubus Boys Falling In Love, Pt. 2 - Requested

Clingy Cat - Rafayel - Requested

Favourite Place To Kiss - Rafayel - Requested

Teasingly Ignoring Him - Fluff, Requested

Dad HCs - Fluff, Requested

You Turn Into A Kitten - Fluff, Requested

Private Trip Smut - Smut, Requested

Topping From The Bottom - Smut, Requested

Calling Him The Wrong Name - Fluff, Requested

General Comf - Comf, Requested

Ace Reader - Comf, Requested

HyperFem Reader - Requested

Pretending to Flirt With Him - Fluff, Requested

Him Being Clingy - Fluff, Requested

Boy BSF - Requested

Soft Raf Smut - Smut, Requested

Panic Attack - Comf, Requested

Gone "Missing" After an Attack - Reverse!Comf, Requested

Suffering Artist Reader -Comf, Requested

Accidentally Upsetting Him - Comf, Requested

Latin Descent Reader - Requested

Tiring Day - Comf, Requested

Remembering Him - Requested

Getting Angry At Him - Jealousy/Comf, Requested

Speaking A Different Language - Requested

Gossiping With Him - Requested

You Fall Asleep Easily - Fluff, Requested

Insomniac Reader - Comf, Requested

Troublesome Reader - Fluff, Requested

Can't Sleep Still - Fluff, Requested

Picky Eater - Requested

Cute Aggression - Fluff, Requested

Sugar Daddy - Requested

Sensitive Reader - Comf, Requested

Getting Hurt and Not Telling Him - Comf, Requested

Hyper Independent - Comf, Requested

Makeout Paradise - Suggestive??, Requested

"Falling" For Him - Fluff, Requested

Opening Up To Him - Fluff, Requested

Chubby Reader - Comf, Requested

Scared To Have Sex - Comf, Requested

Staring at "Somebody Else" - Requested

Seeing You Cry - Comf, Requested

Sick Reader + Emetophobia - Comf, Requested

Curious About His Lemurian Body - Requested

Hidden Tattoo - Fluff, Requested

You Have Cats - Fluff, Requested

Wedding Day - Fluff, Requested

Accidentally Hurting You W/ His Evol - Comf, Requested

Flinching During An Argument - Comf, Request

Jealous of Blobbu - Fluff, Requested

Sensitive Reader - Comf, Requested

Getting Hurt and Hiding It - Comf, Requested

Talking You Through First Time - Soft Smut, Requested

Protecting/Rescuing Him - Comf, Requested

i hate you - Fluff

Putting Lotion On Him - Suggestive, Requested

Pet Passing Away - Comf, Requested

Thanking Him For Existing - Fluff, Requested

Telling Him You Adore His Clingy Side - Fluff, Requested

Creative Reader - Fluff, Requested

Giving Him Plush of You - Fluff, Requested

Struggling w Affection - Comf, Requested

Asking For a Hug - Fluff, Requested

Removing Your Makeup - Fluff, Requested

Being Unproductive - Comf, Requested

Reader S/H - Comf, Requested

Lots of Cats - Requested

Coming Back From A Long Mission - Fluff, Requested

Picking Your Lips - Requested

Farmer Reader - Fluff, Requested

"Unrequited" Love - Angst-Fluff??, Requested

Someone Hurt You - Requested

Highschool Cheerleader - Requested

Difficulty Communicating - Comf??, Requested

Noticing SH Scars - Comf, Requested

Playing Otome - Requested

Finding Him Crying - Reverse Comf, Requested

[hummingbird-games]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHGOBUYTHISRIGHTNOWAHHHH!!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Band Camp Boyfriend is 20% off for Steam & Itch.io's Winter Sale! Tis the season to give the gift of Band Camp Boyfriend. ;)

[kissoulie]

〔 sanguine 〕

a world in which haku shota has known you longer than you have known yourself.

read the teaser here.

pairing: vampire!shota x human!reader

wc: around 6k

genre: soulmates, forbidden romance, angst, SMUT, MDNI

warnings: murder, dubcon, blindfolding, there is a lot of angst, very slight breeding/crying, perpetuation of suicidal thoughts. if you are not in the headspace to read this, please don't. also pls forgive any small spelling/grammar mistakes!! the spelling might be regional the grammar is not LOL

a/n: day 4 of piwontober is here!!!!! this fic is honestly my baby 😭 i birthed this thing over the course of almost 20 days. the specific soulmate rules this steals from are from the otome game bewitching sinners. there is some other influence in this work, some you will most definitely recognize. special thank you to @strawberry-seob for beta reading this for me extremely last minute, you're a champ, my midnight brain thanks you for dealing with all my little mistakes. 🤍

in loving memory of juyogf/348kg.

(they didn't die they just got sussed </3)

Above all to protect you.

Although you don't know it, you are being watched. The night air is crisp, a subtle breeze ruffling your hair, while smoke billows from your mouth and nose. “One of life's finest coping mechanisms,” you sigh, your blond companion nodding in agreement.

And my favorite modern amenity, Shota chuckles, arm moving to wrap around your shoulders, “Right behind Tiktok doomscrolling.”

Warmth fills you, despite the air suddenly chilling, “Thank you for walking me home, Sho.”

Shota courted you—as he called it—his infatuation steady, exhilarating, even comforting at times. You couldn't deny he seemed… almost obsessed with you. He knew everything about you without much effort on his part.

“Any time, darling. I like knowing you're home safe.” He presses a quick kiss to your cheek, swiping your vape from you, “Plus, it means I get an extra half hour with the love of my life.”

If only, Shota blinks quickly, eyes narrowing at the figure just out of your view. “It's still really sweet of you, Sho. I love you.”

The weight of those words in his mind have him smiling without realizing it. Despite his touch being just slightly too rough, you're as relaxed as ever, his hands feeling familiar in ways your mind can't put its finger on. Out of the corner of his eye, he catches your follower staring him down. Right. He's been on this mission for far too long. Shota inhales deeply, “I love you too.”

Falling in love with Shota is like second nature to both of you. Over all spans of time, you fall for him harder and harder. He holds your hands in his with a tenderness familiar to you, yet new every time. His eyes are so earnest. They hold your gaze like a blanket, always observant, always full of a sadness you can't quite place. Shota resents that he's the only one who has to carry this knowledge.

“You haven't eaten in a while.” You stroke his hair. Your hands spread warmth like fire everywhere they touch. He tries his best to remain present, in the moment, but his mind strays.

“It's okay.” His eyes are so far away.

You reach out to him, your fingers entwining with his. And though you don't know why, a feeling of complete hopelessness washes over you when his red eyes gaze deeply into yours. You pick your brain for the right words to say, worried that blunt language will cause him to pull away.

“At least- have a little, it’ll clear your mind?”

He shakes his head, “I love you. I’ll be fine.”

“I love you too, Sho.”

Sometimes it isn't about the words, but about hearing them back.

Shota nuzzles his face into your neck. He inhales deeply. Your blood always smells so sweet to him. The way you relax into his touch breaks his heart. Hands find their way up your spine, across your waist, squeezing your flesh in short bursts.

“Take whatever you need from me.” You don't understand his hesitation. He's always precise with his feeding, never letting himself get past the point of a little hungry. You trust him, he trusts you. Or at the very least, you think he does.

“Are you sure?” Shota’s fangs hover above your jugular, your eyes shining in the dim lights of his apartment. This isn't the first time you have been here, and despite what he knows is about to happen, he's sure it won't be the last.

“I’m sure, I promise, please take what you need from me.” Your voice is almost needy. His nails dig into your sides, eyes squeezing shut. If only he could forget everything else but this moment. If only he could turn back the clock, and be your lifelong lover, instead of being the reason your life isn't long to begin with.

“I will, precious. I love you.”

There's an unfamiliar sting when his fangs dig into you. His eyes flutter closed, holding you to him like you might disappear. He swallows, thick with your life in his mouth.

Shota is thankful that the vampiric part of his brain turns off any part of him that views you as more than just prey. He is your hunter. Your executor. Your lifelong nemesis. He feels you begin to weakly thrash in his arms, a mere whisper of his name snapping him out of his stupor. I’m sorry, he swallows you whole.

I’m sorry.

Your body goes limp. Slowly, you become just like him: A corpse.

Love became greed and erased itself.

Shota’s eyes are closed, fist wrapped tightly around his length. In his mind's eye is your face. He hasn't had the privilege of seeing you when you cum, and that's what he imagines every time he gets off. He thinks of your eyes fluttering closed in pleasure, his name nothing more than a quiet cry, your body milking him for all he's worth.

He thinks of you in his apartment, begging him to take what he needs from you. Your eyes that shone so brightly whenever you saw him. But alas, he is home, and not in that dingy little apartment he keeps for you.

His high approaches quickly, wrist cramping with exertion, if only he knew how you would feel. If only he had you once, so he could keep the memory for all time.

“Shota, his majesty needs you!” Three sharp raps on his door signal Jongseob’s arrival.

“I’ll be there in a second!” he nearly growls, tossing the covers off and putting on some slacks. His hands flatten his hair, eyes flicking to his mirror to make sure he looks presentable. He adjusts his belt, hoping he doesn’t look freshly blue-balled, “Did he say what he wants?”

Jongseob’s face as the door swings open is all Shota needs to see. His face falls into a grimace.

“You know, you'd think after all this time whatever being does this would have mercy on her.” Jongseob has always had more empathy than his Majesty, despite being his younger brother. “I mean, being lured to slaughter in every life must take i-”

“Quiet,” Shota grumbles, pushing past his brother and swinging open the doors to the throne room. His capelet hugs his shoulders when he bows, “Your Majesty.”

“My most beloved brother, it's good to see you.” Theo sits with perfect posture, crown perched atop his auburn hair. He peers down at Shota with an air of entitlement; As if he's just a vessel, and not a faithful family member.

“Likewise, your majesty. The prince-” Theo cuts him off with a wave of his hand. His eyes are piercing in ways Shota will never understand, his power undeniable while in his presence.

“I’m sure you know what I need, Shota. Take care of it.”

“Can't we just-”, Shota clears his throat, stepping forward tentatively, “Turn her? I mean, it's been so many years, I just-”

Theo stares intently at his younger brother. His eyes are full of authority, of a disturbing finality.

“Don't be silly, brother. You will perform your duty.”

Where did that terrible curse come from?

Shota finds you with ease thanks to the bond he shares with Theo. That, and he’s been chasing your scent for so long he could recognize you anywhere. Tonight, he's trespassing at a concert he doesn't have a ticket for. He's thankful for his vampirism in this atmosphere: it makes you so easy to spot at the barricade. He snakes through the crowd, his eyes honed in on you; a true hunter stalking his prey. The opening dialogue he’s prepared for you two to have about the boy group on stage is fresh in his mind—but you turn to him, your eyes staring at him with an emotion he hasn't seen before; a rarity, for him. He opens his mouth.

Then you’re gone.

There was something on that boy's face. A certain millennium old sorrow that you shouldn't be able to recognize. It’s etched into your mind, that beautiful face of his. You remember the silliest things, like his teeth, that he's your age, his roots were grown out. Clearly, you’re just lonely. But maybe—and only maybe—there’s something about him. An old soul, perhaps. Your thoughts are infested with him. So much so, that it’s a miracle you look up from your phone long enough to spot him on your train. Was this your fated love?

Has the universe finally shown mercy on your poor, lonely self?

You cast many nervous glances at the boy, who seems disgruntled. He’s bundled up in many layers to compensate for the incoming nor’easter, the visible part of his cheeks stained pink. It’s time to be brave.

Who inflicted this cruel punishment?

Shota sits bundled up on the subway. He's all too familiar with the route you take, electing to disguise himself so perhaps… you won't walk away from him again. Ever since your last encounter, the heart he never knew he had has been hurting him. He lies awake at night, unable to rest, thinking of the look on your face when you saw him. After much pondering, he realized he knew that expression: fear. It’s been so long since you feared him.

“Can I sit here?”

He's scared it's all a dream. Your smiling face, encased by a halo of fluorescent train lights. A lesser man wouldn't think of you as an angel.

“Ah, yes, of course-” He fumbles to scoot over just a tad, so you don't have to press yourself into him to sit with him.

“You're really pretty.” Your face lights up into the smile he's missed so dearly. Even though you come back changed in every life, your smile is always the same to him. “Sorry! That’s probably weird to hear, I didn’t mean it in a bad way!”

“Thank you, um, your smile-” The flush that tints his cheeks is foreign to him. Shota feels almost… excited. What’s happening is a gift from the gods. Your puppylike tendencies bleed through the walls he’s built since he last held you. When he gets off the subway, he finds himself walking with newfound purpose. Your number is scrawled onto his palm.

The fate that I devoted my life to; How could I forget?

Empty. Is there anything in Haku Shota’s life that is fully under his control? Is there even one instance where he isn't at the beck and call of another?

It makes him mean, to be so out of his own control. To wake up every day, and only be awake to the detriment of someone else. It’s slowly rotting away at his soul.

Not that there's much left of his soul, anyway.

And maybe Jongseob was the boy who saved his life, as well as the boy he still protected with his life. But Shota finds no enjoyment in this groundhog day he's found himself in. He curls in on himself, his mind racing. Everything is so loud.

Many days, he hopes he will finally be put out of his misery. His heart is twisting, turning, writhing, a mass of muscle and taut tissue, his lungs contracting and constricting, airways tight, so small he feels like he can’t even swallow his saliva, which is so thick and heavy in his mouth — if he could just breathe.

He grits his teeth, thoughts moving so fast he doesn't remember what he’s supposed to be—just that he is. His eyes are closed, shutting out another sense to keep up with, his whole body pulled tight with emotion like a marionette at the whims of his own consciousness.

Twitching. He can feel his body twitching every few seconds, uncontrollable and minute. He is in his head. With every thought that races through, one keeps looping as if desperate to be heard and to be seen: I don’t belong, I’m not happy.

A terrible oversimplification of his current plight, the thought manages to ease the onslaught of activity, condensing his thoughts down to his emotions. Does he feel anything? Has the numbness faded, causing him to stumble?

Trials and tribulations are commonplace for any person of his age, though certain anomalies of the mind can alter even the most simplistic emotion into a monster of its own merit.

Perhaps, this life isn’t meant for him.

It has made him happy. He has been good, and loved. He is good and loved.

But it isn’t for him. He can’t feel anything at all. Most of the time, he’s apathetic, with exception to sharp bursts of emotions. This isn’t a life he wants to live.

(He wants to live for you.)

Doomed. That is how he feels. The perfect descriptor for someone as cynical and apathetic as him.

The feeling leaves his mouth bitter, a smile displaying his outermost wants. It’s alarmingly easy to fake it. His own happiness is nothing but a facade. To him or to everyone?

Much of the time, being left to his own thoughts and opinions is what coerces his most vulnerable emotions out. It discomforts him, feeling the things he tries so hard to hide bubble up to the surface in undeniable agony. His heart, once hidden, emerges from its cocoon to try and blossom again.

If only.

But life is much more complex than these feelings of inadequacy. Even if he doesn't believe it.

“Pull yourself together, Shota.” Jongseob’s voice echoes in his empty apartment. He didn’t know who else to call.

“I wish I could feel normal again,” Shota whispers into the phone. He feels white hot shame course through him, and he regrets saying anything at all.

“If you felt normal, we wouldn't still be friends.” He laughs. Shota wonders how his friend could feel so light.

“Maybe we would be, but I’d be dead.” Dead might be better than this.

A forlorn silence falls over his room after he hangs up on his best friend. He closes his eyes, all of his memories a watercolor sketch of emotions. He has to end things between you two.

Your blood is still warm when he wipes it off his chin with a handkerchief. He knows Keeho will be there at any moment to clean everything up for him, and then Theo will want to celebrate. The cold air bites at Shota’s cheeks. It's like the universe is punishing him for his act of unkindness. He stuffs his hands in his coat pockets. When did I put on a coat?

There's one orange street lamp on his block. Did I ever notice how her smile was like the sun?

A car speeds by him dangerously close, the occupants seeming to watch him. Do I love her?

His phone lights up, a cheerful ringtone startling him. They don't have to know where I’m staying tonight.

The aftermath is always the worst part.

“Sorry, my roommate has a strict no boys policy.” You laugh, praying he buys the excuse. Really, it's not that Intak won't let you spend alone time with boys; it's that he won't let you spend alone time with this boy. Something about a bad vibe.

“I miss you,” he coughs, “When we aren't together, I miss you.”

Your stomach does a little summersault. A pretty boy misses you when you aren't with him.

“I’ll.. talk to him, maybe he'll relent because we're just friends-”

“I want to be more. Than just friends, with you.” Shota gauges your reaction for 30 long and agonizing seconds. He watches the cogs turn in your brain, realization setting in. Then, there's that beautiful smile of yours. If only he could feel this warm all the time.

“Oh thank god, I thought I was just delusional!” Your fingers entwine with his, and a flash of something akin to recognition passes across your face.

Convincing Intak to let Shota over was an ordeal you were sufficiently blindsided by. Perhaps there was more to the story of why he doesn't want you with him, but if he won't tell you… it's no longer your concern.

That's what you tell yourself when you sneak the boy into your room, anyways. You feel completely safe with him. Completely at ease. So much so, that when he lays you back on your bed, dick heavy between your thighs; you relax and let him have his way with you.

“Have you ever done this before?” His voice is soft. His hands caress your body with reverence.

You shake your head. You feel his fingers slowly drag up your thigh, his body pushing your legs apart with his descent between your thighs.

“Gonna prep you, it'll feel good.” He presses a quick kiss to your clit over your panties. He takes his sweet time ridding you of them, sucking and licking at your clit. A sharp pain has your eyes snapping open.

“Sho, hurts.”

He soothes it with a kiss, murmuring ‘good girl’ into your cunt. He looks at you from beneath his lashes for approval.

“Shota, your eyes-” You gasp out, hands tugging impatiently on his hair. His tongue pokes slightly out of his mouth, chin covered in slick.

“Don't worry about it, baby,” he mumbles into your thighs, leaving a trail of wet kisses right back to where you needed him most.

“No- Sho-” You try to push him away, but his hands grab yours, “Quiet.”

He hums into your clit, pressing his fingers in to curl right up into that spot you love so much.

“Sho, stop-” The pitch of your voice is electric. The stuff of dreams, for him.

“No. You will cum for me.” His ministrations get more aggressive, more motivated. He sucks on your clit far too painfully for your liking, but it only gets you closer.

“Sho- Shota, fuck-” His eyes lock onto yours as you cum all over his face, before your head lolls back, lungs gasping for air.

He holds you close to him after, pressing gentle kisses all over your exposed chest and neck. He mumbles something you don't quite catch between the blood rush in your ears. All you can think about is how safe you feel with him. And maybe, there's a little voice in the back of your head that says you love him.

“Don't do that to me again,” you whine, clinging to him in the afterglow of your orgasm, “You really scared me for a sec.”

“Sorry, precious. I get a little mean when I’m desperate.” His voice is a pitch lower than usual, and it sends heat back between your thighs. He's still hard against you.

“Don't bite your lip at me like that,” he groans, manhandling you into his lap, “You're the one who said to stop, baby.”

His eyes are heady, dilated with lust. It's a gaze that has you stricken. The only reply you can muster comes out as a soft whine, “Just- make love to me, Sho.”

Fate is in my hands again.

You try to brush off the undeniable red you saw in your lover’s eyes a mere 3 weeks ago. He sneaks into your shared apartment far too many times, just to kiss on you and love on you. It's almost as if the sorrowful boy you met in the park all those months ago has been replaced by someone… happier.

The months fly by between the two of you, and even Intak seems to warm up to the idea of Shota sticking around. (Yes, there were many long nights of bickering when he found out you were sneaking him in.)

“Shota, I’m not so sure.” Black silk is cool against your eyelids—one of your boyfriend's many ideas to spice up your private time.

“It'll be okay, baby. Trust me.” He kisses your lips, then your cheeks, then your nose. You feel the bed dip with his weight, his eternally cold body pressing against your own.

“I trust you,” you breathe out, his lips ghosting against your own. You feel a sharp prick by your collarbone, followed by his tongue. “Soul?”

That blessed nickname you've given him. Your heart and Soul.

“I’m here, baby, I’m here.”

There's emphasis on dialogue in your sex life. At Shota’s insistence, of course. He loves listening to you whine and cry for him.

You're confused. Left completely in the dark, until you feel his dick dragging through your sticky folds. Without prep? Is the only question in your head, feeling the throb of him. You need him so badly.

“Sho-” you gasp out.

“I’ve got you.”

Right. He's got you. Always.

His hand wraps around your neck, applying light pressure just to test. Just to see where your limits are.

“N-No, Sho-” You weakly grab at him, not fussing, but still trying to pull him off of you. He feels your wrist go slack when he angles his hips up at just the right spot.

“You go so dumb for me so easily, precious.” Shota whimpers. His mouth falls open, eyes going hazy with pleasure, “Christ, I’m gonna cum.”

“Inside, please.” You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him ever deeper. You feel so good he can hardly breathe, squeezing around him like a vice. He's embarrassed by how quickly he always cums with you, but you never seem to mind. Afterwards you're always smug, teasing, almost mean.

“Okay, baby, anything for you.” He breathes out, thumbing at your clit. He tries to pick up the pace, but the grip you have on him is too tight, so he settles for grinding into your precious cunt.

“I love you, Shota, I love you.” You cry, kicking and shaking with pleasure, your whole body convulsing. He moans your name in a tone that's downright debaucherous. He's nestled so deep inside you, hand pushing your leg up further. He feels himself hit a wall within you, and you let out a sob. “Sorry, sorry, fuck.” 

I grew up in an eternity that will soon belong to you.

The ways in which Shota loves you are carnal. All this time, he's viewed the countless years upon years you've spent together as something out of his control. When really, he has all the control. All the power. Shota decides that in this life, the only way to keep you alive is to sever his proximity to you. The only way to protect you, as he so dearly desires, is for him to disappear. Watch over from afar. Maybe then, Theo won't hunt you like an animal. 

But he knows it's nothing more than a pipedream. And in disobeying his king, there's more than just a high probability that he'll never see you again. All these years spent pining after you, chasing you down, getting to know every version of you the universe has to offer; and he will finally die. He will finally get what he's always wanted, as is the price for your life.

May 25th, 1967

Feelings grow, morph, and change overtime. What was initially anxiousness at the thought of us talking has turned into anticipation. I hope we will meet again. I can prepare, but I will not remember. I can pretend to shield my emotions, but it's too late. I like you, plain and simple. I like you. I cannot wax poetic like this, I simply like you. You are a small comfort, a being I can rely on, someone I want to cherish and savor like fine wine. I think about arguments, and fierce letters, and sharp kisses and bites. I think about a confession on your lips, late nights by candlelight spent sitting too close for just enemies, just friends, just anything. I think about bringing you trinkets, books, scraps of literature I cannot admit to writing myself. I think about cooking together and laughing together. I think about how awful your cooking could be, and eating it all anyways because you made it for me. I think about reading together in silence, waking up to leaning against you, something you might never let me do. I like you. I cannot stand it. I ache for you to the point of nausea; mere words will not encompass it. I’m learning you, and tracing my fingers along the ridges of your soul again and again and again. It inspires hunger, insatiable hunger, blunt teeth tearing through threads of time and storing them in the maw, savoring them; Swirling them around, feeling each individual thread snap and break, swallowing even as the ends scratch my throat, and swallowing some more, asking for more, needing more to remember to reread to rethink to reanalyze to cherish and destroy and love and hate and hunger for more always more never less always enough never full. The hunger subdues, declines, takes its teeth out of me but not its claws, always threatening, always wanting. Wanting, wanting, wanting like it deserves to. I want to avoid, not be a moth drawn to flame, drawn to certain death, I want to allow myself to stop thinking stop being stop wanting but the need grows the want grows the anticipation and desire to connect and to be it fills and snakes and squeezes my heart and– I need to be restrained and unwanting and alone again so I cannot feel anything or anyone. So I cannot taste the breeze, the ashes, the sea, the stars. If only to feel you, and to feel you on the curve of the wind's fingers, caressing and cooling and soothing and peaceful. I wish that peace was me and I was peace but the feeling of duty, of punishment, of praise, it requires chaos, it requires not a moment of simple and singular silence. In you I feel silence, I become silence, I conform, I become too much, I feel nothing, I feel everything—I want you. And this wretched heart won't let me stop. Every time I open my eyes I'm attacked with memories of you, ghosts of love and adoration flipping through my eyes in seconds and I just feel you as my breath and my echo, the words I speak, and the air I breathe. I can feel you in my hands, in my laugh, in everything I do. You are my world, my lover, my friend, the nostalgia in my tea and the memories I have yet to make everything, everything always you. Even now I can't untangle the cord of our souls, what are the chances you remember? Very little, I'm afraid. I will never speak to you of this—I don't want to, and I'm scared, but my gods—if I would not tear down the heavens for you, then love is just a concept. I would still become destroyer of the heavens, hell's purveyor of punishment, all if it, if only for you.

Shota

October 31st, 1992

The problem is that I want to be wanted too, so what am I doing so wrong? I find it hard to form lasting connections as quickly as others, am I just not enough? What makes me so inadequate? What makes me so wrong?

Why can’t I love and be loved as others are? Why is that so hard? I’ve always struggled with connecting with people. Something about my humanness, or lack thereof. One of my favorite quotes is this: “We accept the love we think we deserve.” 

I know I don’t deserve much, but that’s… Not necessarily the problem here. How can I accept love I’m not given? How is it that people who’re supposed to have a strong bond with me, bond with other people more? Am I simply unlovable? 

What mark is there that ties me to them? If one of us leaves, our connection is simply lost to the wind. I suppose the ephemeral nature of my existence bleeds out into my relationships. I suppose that is the “wrong” within me. 

I miss you. You are in the moon that washes over me. You are in every tender morning. You are in the weeds I uproot. You are bamboo, invasive to my land. You are in everything I am.

Thank you for listening. I know you always will.

Shota 

December 25th, 2016

Everything that is "mine" has been stripped away from me.

People are

a hand

a heart

a hundred little things

slipping, just out of reach

away

Kind regards,

Shota

February 15th, 2023

My life and love have lost their luster.

and I, my gilded glow. 

My darling is made of stars.

My darling cannot see me from afar.

For what separates the stars from the Earth?

What stops them from moving ever closer, ever nearer, from loving the land below? 

Death, my dear heart.

The stars we see are dead, 

and thus

I, too, am loving a dead thing.

You wouldn't like the person I've become. And I won't blame you. I don't like who I've become either. 

Sincerely yours,

Shota

January 19th, 2024

I have much to say, yet no way to say it properly. I guess I will start with something I will never say again: I miss you.

My feelings alone are not enough to be the catalyst of a relationship, yet when I think about the few sweet words you’ve gifted to me I consider it may be enough. 

I know you. And truly, the more I think I do, the more I’m aware I don’t. I wonder what kind of person would steal your heart. Someone with gentle hands, soft words, the epitome of kindness? Yet cruel in their own way, when provoked? I am nothing like that. The jagged edges of my splintered heart are just that; jagged edges. I am not callous, but at times I find myself wanting to be what people believe me to be. That is to say, I want to become an unthinkable beast. 

Unthinkable beasts don’t cry for a lover they’ve never had though, do they. 

The thought of you arouses such anguish within me, my heart. I think you would despise this pet name. My heart, my heart, my poor, beating heart. Bitter blue, dancing flame, stormy rose. You get prettier as you age. Like a fine wine, or an expensive cologne. 

It’s not that I haven’t thought of you as a lover, but that I haven’t allowed myself to. It hurts. Worse than I believed it would. 

It hurts. It really does. I don’t even know why anymore. Is it because I am unloved by you? Is it because I’m scared of truly losing you? Am I so selfish that I want you back with no regard for your safety? I am, and I am not. I wish I could distract myself from you again. 

I want to be with you. I want to love you without doubt. I want to think of you and crave your presence without hurt. I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you.

Humans are such complex little creatures. Somehow, after reading all of Shota’s letters, you're more determined than ever to love him. His letters, his final gift of closure to you, they infuriate you.

Who is he to decide your fate?

Who is he to decide you're better off without him around?

It's a gut feeling that has you running to his apartment. Your chest aches from the cold air and exertion. Your feet only carry you faster. You've never had a soulmate. 

Across all those decades, you've never known what it's like. You were never able to understand the nauseating love others feel for someone else. You fell in love, but you never felt in love. 

Not until Shota.

You knew from the start: For you, there was only ever him. There is no soul more perfect, no heart more understanding—it is him for you. You pray to whatever god exists that he's still in Seoul.

Your hands shake while you fumble with the set of keys he gave you. The lock clicks, and you burst through, hoping to find a light on. 

But all that remains is silence. Cold and daunting.

You let out a hollow laugh to yourself. Tears prick the corners of your vision, then a scream bubbles up and into the back of your throat.

A pair of glowing red eyes stare back at you. 

Unlike your beloved’s eyes, that always adored you, these eyes are callous. They pierce through your very soul.

There's an imperceptible flinch on their end that has you stumbling back slowly. Your heart thrums violently in your ears, begging you to turn back, begging you to move or do anything to fight against your now oncoming demise. 

“He made a mistake.” It breathes in your direction, moonlight streaming through an open window. 

You take a small step back, and it takes one forward.

“I am here to fix it.” 

It lunges forward, hands snaking around your throat, smashing your head onto the tile below.

“Shota!” 

In your freshly fogged brain, all you can think of is him. 

He loves you.

He'll come. 

“Shota, help!” 

There's a deep throbbing in your chest. A fear stronger than your own grips you, your body finally listening and fighting for you. Black dots line your vision, your lungs burning in an agonizing pain you know to associate with death. 

And then the pressure is gone.

“I'm not good at this whole emotions thing.” A steady beeping sound fills the sterile room where you lay. 

“I don't even know where to begin telling you everything that's happened,” Shota swallows down his anxiety, warmth blooming in his chest. Your eyes flutter open to meet his.

“I should come clean to you.” Your voice has a rasp to it, throat completely dry from your days asleep, “I haven't been entirely honest.”

Your stare bores through him like acid. He feels your heart rate pick up before modern technology even dares.

“I… I’ve been seeing things. Myself. I don't know when it started, but shortly after I met you, she started appearing- first just occasionally, then the closer we got, the more I saw her. And then I started having these weird dreams about you… they felt like memories. I thought I was going crazy.

Shota, my whole life I’ve felt like no one would ever love me. Everyone had their soulmate, and I had no one. My parents didn't love me, I had trouble making friends, I felt no drive to ever… be anyone. And then I met you. You just got me. I finally thought: I don't need a soulmate. You never mentioned anything about a soulmate, you didn't seem interested at all—and then one day it just clicked. I felt like you were a part of me. 

That night, when I went to your apartment, it was her. Me? I’m not sure, but she has my face. I still don't…” 

You blink back tears. Shota holds your shaking hands in his. There's the boy you fell in love with. Soft hands, slow movements, love you've never felt with anyone else.

“Your soulmate is- Sorry, was, my brother. We're not related by blood, but by a familial bond forged when we were both children. I don't expect you to know anything about vampires, or what happens when they're soulmates with a human, but when a vampire is soulmates with a human they become mortal from the moment the two meet. Theo fought for many, many years to become the vampire king. He led wars, lost almost his entire family, and became the ‘monster’ he is today. I am of the opinion that he always envisioned a soulmate as powerful as him. And when he first saw you all those years ago, he didn't see the strength within you—only the vessel. I- I don't wanna get into it still, I’m not ready, but- when I was younger, I hated you. To me, you were just another obstacle in Theo’s way. He wanted you gone. My best friend was the one who would've done it if I didn't. I don't know what happened, you read the letters, I fell. I fell for you.” 

“Somewhere along the way, I think I fell for you too.” Your voice is as quiet as a pin drop. He looks at you, warmth and something else just beyond his soulful eyes. His lips curl into a beautiful smile, the first you've seen in this lifetime.

It's my fate

To dedicate myself to you.

taglist: @tkooooop, @haolovre, @jiungsdaisy, @jmclouds

[inupibaldspot]

You’re jealous?

Pairing: Okkotsu Yuta x reader

Note ₊˚⊹♡ : Yuta is jealous over you and Rafayel, a game character.

A Saturday night spend quiet was normal for you and Yuta; both in bed legs tangled with breathing in sync. Yuta usually stays on his phone playing some random game — or it’s multiplayer then with Inumaki; while you scroll through social media.

But in today’s case something was different, not getting out of bed through that part stays but you were on your phone playing a game which has been on your ‘for you page’ for a while now; love and deep space.

You downloaded the otome game out of pure curiosity but now— now you were hooked. A character in particular had all your affection, Rafayel. Why? He was just so so funny and sassy.

Yuta ,completly in the dark on his girlfriend literally being swept of her feet by a game character, let’s out a sigh of relief as the match finally came to an end. The word ‘victory’ plastered on the screen.

“Baby, look.” Yuta’s soft voice breaks the silence as he shows his screen to you. “I got match mvp.”

His eyebrows furrowed, almost worried, when you paid no attention to his words. “Oh.” He says to himself when he noticed you had your earphones on.

Yuta smiles as he gently pokes your thighs which finally grabs your attention so he once again shows off his screen. “I got mvp… Inumaki-kun got bronze.” He laughs.

He watched you gaze at his screen and smiles. “That’s nice.” You say and then looks back into your screen.

Huh? That’s nice…? That’s it…? Yuta thinks confused. Where were his praises and kisses peppered all over his face? That’s what you usually did. Yuta looks over to see that you had a smile plastered on his face, almost giddy with a blush on your cheeks. Just what got you so flustered?

Silently, he makes his way closer to you as he peers over your screen. He notices a game character with dark hair whose mouth was moving as if he was saying something; but whatever that character said made you giggle.

Yuta feels his stomach churn with uncontrollable jealousy so he decided then and there he needed all of his lover’s attention. He starts off my leaning his head into your neck, which makes you raise your hand and place it on his head; playing with his hair.

But that wasn’t enough. Yuta wanted all of your attention.

He wraps his arms around your waist, lips turned into a pout looking like a kicked puppy.

When you still wasn’t looking at him, he changes tactics.

Yuta props himself up and he brings his lips near your ears as he places small kisses and then proceeds to take tiny nibbles there. “Y-Yuta…” You stammer.

Not enough.

His lips drop to your neck and then to your shoulders, leaving small trail of red marks while he brings his fingers up to pull down the small strap of your top, making the material fall.

Yuta lips curl to a satisfied smile when you finally put down your phone; your focus entirely on him.

You swallow, face heat up and breathing heavy. “Yuta… Don’t tell me you’re jealous?” You smile when you see your boyfriend pink, and he looks away from you. How cute.

“It’s just a game character, love.” You giggle. “Just a name character called Rafayel.”

“Don’t say another man’s name…”

In a swift moment, you were pinned down on you back as Yuta climbs over your. Before you could question anything, Yuta places open mouth kisses all over your neck. “And could a game character do this?” Gone was the sweet tone your boyfriend always used on you.

“N-no…” You manage to squeak out. “Only you can do that to ngh—ah! me, Yuta.”

His head falls on your shoulder placing his lips against your collarbones, the up your neck again until your lips are together, desperate. You were writhing below him and that overjoyed him.

Yuta let’s out a hoarse laugh as his fingers now tap on the waistband of your pant, his breath hot on your ears. “I’ll show you something else, that Rafayel can’t do.”

[stunie]

zevie I have a thought! since kiryu canonically is a gamer, imagine him with a gf who isn't really into videogames but loves otome games! I think it'd be so cute and just imagine his reaction to showing him the game and talking about her faves. and then they's spend time together while kiryu plays his videogames and she's next to him playing on her phone lol this has been in my head for weeks!! i had to tell someone!!

nonnie i love ur thought !! this is so cute please >: it would be so fun to play next to him !! i wrote something a teeeeny bit different but it’s still similar :>

kiryu mitsuki x f!reader! sfw.

“ah,” you don’t pause your game even when you feel the couch dip under kiryu’s weight, eyes briefly flickering between him and your screen as he nestles right beside you, “hi there, ‘suki.”

he gives you a cheerful hum in response, arm snaking around your waist to pull you gently into his side, and his lips curl into a little smile as soon as you lean into him, both hands still busy clicking away at your game.

“soo?” he starts planting small kisses along the top of your head, “what are you up to, princess?”

his voice comes out as soft as always, arms wrapped loosely around your middle as he rests his chin on your head, peeking at the game you’ve been preoccupied with all day. not that he minds, of course. the two of you have been spending your off days like this lately, legs tangled in each other’s as you both play your own games, occasionally pausing for a couple minutes to sneak in some kisses.

but today he wants to watch.

“…just this,” you mumble, “and did you know? i’m almost at the part where my fav kisses me.”’

“oh?” his tone is curious, not a trace of jealousy or anger behind it, but it still makes your breath hitch in your throat. “so you’ve been getting kisses this whole time, haven’t you?”

“mhm. but this one,” you hold up your game for him to see it better, “is my favorite.”

it’s a character he’s seen all too many times. kiryu remembers each one you’ve gushed to him about— knows them by name as well as all the info listed on their character pages.

he could even recite them to you if you asked.

“well aren’t you a lucky girl,” he coos, arms tightening around your waist as he holds you flush against his chest, “but that’s no fair. my kiss comes next, okay?”

[ventique18]

I just realized playing a proper twst otome visual novel would be the ultimate patience test for Malleus fans. Traditional otome games (non-gacha) would usually lock out the "main guy" as the last pursuable because their story wraps up the entire plot as the true end. Imagine having to go through six full routes of third years just to get to marry Malleus. Even worse if they somehow allow to date the lower years; you'd have to power through 21 routes to unlock him. 🐌

[dangopango00]

DEMONIC FEATURES HCS

Random Om demon hcs + OM Demons x gn reader

Pt. 1 (Lucifer, Mammon, Levi) | Pt. 2 (4567) | Pt. 3 (Royal Trio) Coming soon

CW: suggestive but not much, just “slut” used in regard to clothing and vague suggestion of leviathan with two. 👍

A/N: ive had om since like fuck idk since that first genie event or sth WHATEVER the point is its been a MINUTE and i only JUST watched the anime 😭😭😭 theyre so sweet and silly i cant take witttttt i need to write for them i love them all so muxygehwhwhshshwbwb I swearrr om is one of the only otome where i can gaf about more than 2 or 3 characters

Also u should read them. All; I throw in general hcs too

Lucifer: The Peacock

- I think his wings should have eyes in them like its such a missed opportunity for a reference to his animal counterpart (peacock), a reference to biblical angels and a reference to the fact that he always somehow knows what everyone’s up to and what their ulterior motives are. Ik he has a few on his outfit but it just doesn’t give that otherworldly creature dread feeling you should get when looking at a demon (Not to go on a tangent but when I see a hot demon character I want to be afraid of them but then go “wait why is this hot”)

- Also while he technically has 4 wings, I think that when he flares out his wings they should expand in such a way that makes it appear like he has more

- I imagine his wings stretch out and look bigger whenever he feels proud of and satisfied with himself— esp when he’s around you; its cute tbh but he also does it when hes super pissed; are you gonna take that chance? 🤔

- Imagine if the little diamond on his forehead was a closed eye and every now and again it opens especially when he feels as if his pride is threatened or when he’s generally angry. Personally I think that would be sick af

- I KNOW THE MARKINGS ARE JUST LIKE BIRTHMARKS BUT IMAGINE THEY FEEL DIFFERENT FROM THE NORMAL SKIN like Lucifer’s markings could be feathers covering his jaw and below (see: Howl Pendragon bird form, kinda) and they feel like real feathers too

- I think we all agree that whenever he feels protective of you he’d wrap his wings around you and shield you from anyone’s view but his own

- Keeps a feather on you (probably gives it to you as a gift) so he can keep an eye on you at all times (This is not a pun; imo he can see through the eyes on his wings when he closes his main eyes and opens his third)

- Pact mark spans from the nape of your neck to about 1/3 your spine (pretty big but not humongous) and is in the shape of a peacock feather but when his powers/benefits are used the barbs of the feather move in a way similar to fire and the eye in the center opens (it kinda tickles and/or sends a chill down your spine)

- Pact mark allows him to locate you in pretty much any place without an uber powerful magic barrier or like interference (Which I think would make sense considering he always knows what’s up + he DID say making a pact with him entails you are his and he is yours [since you can summon him wnv I think and command him to do stuff])

- Something he already does but I just noticed lines up with peacocks is tilting his head when he’s sick of everyone’s shit

- OH MY GODDDDD HIS WINGS DRAPE DOWN LIKE PEACOCK TAIL FEATHERS. HE HAS LONG WINGS. LOOK AT THIS AND TELL ME THAT SHIT WOULDN’T BE MAJESTIC AS HELL ON HIM

Mammon: The Corvid

- I think his wings are nicely placed but I would make them curl/angle upwards more to more resemble bird wings (Ik Lucifer is the bird wing guy but hes a bird too 😞😞) kinda like this

- I think that while the bones are exposed on his wings, on the back of the wings there should be patches of feathers showing he lost them in his fall from grace aaaa 😫😫😫

- I know the demons have either wings or tails but like. Entertain this thought: Mammon with cute lil tail feathers 😭😭 mammon with a bird tail would just fit so well im sorry

- He subconsciously lowers/bows his head while talking to people he respects and admires (like you and Lucifer) like laying his head down on his arm or desk or sth

- Collects stuff that looks interesting— stuff he thinks he can probably use or fix up and sell. Pretty much proven but I feel I should emphasize how bad it gets, like he needs to clean his room at least weekly or his room will be full of junk 😭 (he js like me fr)

- Great at impressions; I THINK this was included in the story at one point (?) but idk so I will mention it here. Give him a voice and he can mimic it pretty well (Brothers would def use this to their advantage for silly little schemes if mammon weren’t charging an arm and a leg for his services gn)

- Will engage in anything he finds interesting and stimulating; the reason he sucks ass in school isn’t really because hes dumb but he has a hard time focusing on shit that isnt stimulating (that’s kinda how it is for most people but like especially for him, he indulges heavily into freedom/temptation; usually won’t do anything he doesn’t want to)

- Blinged OUT. More rings, a gold necklace thing (those thick round ones), more ear piercings and i like the drawing someone did with his fangs being gold however ntm as the absence of such things also shows his balance between his heavenly virtue and deadly sin (Charity vs Greed) and how despite his sin he really can be a modest guy

- Markings should cover his face and be little portals that let him summon grabby hands and sometimes he gets you stuff and sends it through the portal on your body (your pact mark)

- Speaking of pact marks, I think his is on your heart or right above and is like a dripping fingerprint that turns into a full blown hand print (maybe even the monkey’s paw?) when his powers/benefits are being used; Its hard to describe the feeling but when his hand goes through it feels like you’re gagged right then and there and its a little bit hard to breathe when you first made the pact because its a little uncomfortable but as you got used to the sensation and nurtured your magic ability, your breathing went back to normal

- I promised myself I wasn’t gonna get into outfits too much because they’re. Um anyway all I’ll say is he should have some slutty bellbottoms in his demon form idgaf

A/N: im so sorry mammon fans for the neglect i didnt know what to really put since crows are just like. Silly feathery black blobs

Leviathan: The Serpent

- He should have poisonous spines on his tail that lie dormant but flare up whenever he feels strong emotion (embarrassment, anger, jealousy etc) and in relation to that he should have a few scales visible on his neck but more should appear leading up his face to his eye when he feels these strong emotions like his skin hardens and turns to scales (almost like how our veins bulge when we humans get very angry) it would be cool af ngl and kinda fits how his voice changes when hes annoyed (I SWEAR it gets all deep and like gravelly ig)

- ALSO i mentioned in another post but his eyes should become super snake-like (pupils slimming down) when he gets angry/envious but adding onto that, his pupils should dilate like a cat when he feels a positive emotion like excitement (though I think his pupils would dilate when looking at you lovingly, if you flustered him his pupils would constrict, not because its negative, but because he doesn’t know how to handle it)

- Grows much taller in his demon form imo since sea serpents are big as hell (he doesn’t become a giant or anything but he does grow like a foot or so which. He might as well be a giant bc hes alr pretty tall) Honestly I think all demons grow in their demon forms but he just grows an exceptional amount compared to any other demon

- Two…. Nvm iykyk fr a certified hood classic and i dont see enough of it in fics 😒

- Often accidentally sticks out his tongue while angry and bites his tongue and it just ruins the mood as well as any fear anyone had of him bye. Hes so goofy i just love him

- Long ahh tongue; snake reminiscent

- The back of his slut zip jacket should be vaguely shaped like fins + would it be wrong to say he should have slutty bellbottoms too? Can’t I dream? 💭 not as wide as Mammon’s though he’s not doing it like him fr

- Wraps his tail around you as if trying to shield you from public view with his spines whenever he gets jealous or protective

- I think it would be cool if the design on his jacket was a fishbone or if his tail was a bit translucent and showed bones inside (Ik tails don’t have bones generally but bear with me here) as a reference to how the Leviathan became a meal after being defeated

- Subconsciously moves slowly and methodically like the way he leans his head in slowly as you talk is very snake of him

- Big yawn (can open his mouth really wide)

- Pact mark is on the side of your neck, a bit closer to the front though and is shaped like a scale initially but grows into a very large patch of black scales with a purple underside, covering everything in the area almost like a bad rash when you use his powers/benefits

- Activation feels as if you’re being suffocated slowly, like water is slowly entering your lungs as the “rash” spreads at first but, again, as you get used to it this sensation wears off but a feeling that won’t ever wear off when activating the pact mark is the feeling that Levi is there looming by your side through the mark but just out of view whenever you try to see him; it’s a little maddening

- Can find you with sth similar to echolocation and it’s especially effective in water; can also spread the scales further with enough willpower and/or jealousy, basically creating a shield for your body